Paganism kinda sucks. As an unchristianed person, I want to find a home in an existing religious structure – ideally, one connected to a religious community and rituals. But looking into what’s available, I don’t want to be a sage-burning Wiccan or a worshipper of binary-sex gods. I don’t want to be someone who pretends to be an ancient adherent of their ethnic religion or worse – someone else’s ethnic religion. I left Christianity because of its structural connections to colonialism, both here on Turtle Island and in Palestine. I don’t want to play that game by a different name.

Why do attempts at religion by (particularly white) people who left Christianity always suck? No doubt in part because of the “loss of indigeneity” that white communities have agreed to during the creation of race and colonialism. Christianity has the only bit of pre-colonial “spiritual juice” left to whiteness. Outside of that, white people are left to try to imagine a religion from before colonialism – through ethnic paganism like Druidry – or poorly steal stuff from current indigenous groups. The latter is an easy move for a people who have been conditioned to the normalcy of stealing from the indigenous.

I think it is the method of spirituality, rather than the content of spirituality, that must be payed attention for any post-christian person to create a new sense of spirituality. We need to trust our own experiences over the structures of hegemony that we are so heavily bathed in. (This task is more difficult for white people because it requires unlearning a lot of white beliefs and "instincts".) I have found a good way to do this is to zoom out and think about the patterns I already have in my life. All humans find something to place their beliefs, morals, rituals, and understanding of mortality in. I just have to review where mine are.

So, what acts as a religion in my life? Where do I go to meet friends and strangers, to talk about issues of justice, feelings, and sentiment? Where do I feel a connection to other people through different rituals and sayings? Where do I keep to a relatively regular calendar of events?

DIY music!

I think I can confidently say that my religion is DIY music - as a neutral statement. My bandmates and I have joked about it, but I think it should be a serious consideration. Going to shows, wearing patches and prints, non-judgemental spacekeeping, respecting the sober, etc – all religious practices I am well-accustomed to. (Well, except patches. I have tried patching so many times – stamp printing comes way more naturally to me).

Recognizing this, I need to treat the DIY spaces here as sacred - that is, requiring the highest care of social spacemaking. I need to think carefully and act decisively to make these spaces inclusive, safe, and just. So, stay tuned as I process my thoughts on the local scene and the spaces I have responsibilities in.

Pagan altars also leave something to be desired. An altar of sage, wood rods, and cheap metal pentagrams just sounds like an Amazon shopping cart rather than a spiritual space to me.

If I were to put together an altar for myself, it might have some things from my local folk punk music scene. It would also have objects that I feel a spiritual and personal connection to. It would take a Sentimental Materialism to construct – a look at my actual experiences and the gathering of many meaningful things to me that I put in one place.